Some “wanna-be” criminals should certainly leave this way of life to the experts. There are crimes that have been committed under the weirdest circumstances to the point that the criminals can’t even be taken seriously. Their plans are always unsuccessful and their poor decisions are hilarious. The criminals you will read about here were terrible at their pursuits and deserve to star in cartoons. They just aren’t cut out for this.
1. The ID Handover
Criminals see bank heists as a way to get large sums of cash. The lack of planning and effort makes this cause laughable. Edner Flores had every intention of robbing a Chicago bank when he walked in. You first handed the teller a deposit ticket which read “No dye packs” and “armed” scribbled on it and then demanded $10,000. The teller remained calm and continued to be polite. Edner even gave the teller his ID. Certainly he wasn’t thinking. The police arrived and made the arrest. The teller had apparently hit the silent alarm.
2. The License
UK police observed a driver weaving through traffic and after a long pursuit, which even involved the services of a helicopter, they caught up to the drunk driver after his fuel ran out. The man was asked for his driver’s license. He complied but what the police received was surprising. The license this man presented was not issued by the ACME Company but by Legoland in Windsor, which he received as a child in 2003. This license is gifted to children who successfully complete the driving test at the theme park. This may sound like comic relief to say the least.
3. The Getaway
A good heist includes a good getaway plan. A fast car and a qualified driver are needed but these were definitely missing in this case. Noemi Duchene and her accomplice set their eyes on a jewelry store in Texas. Noemi entered the store with a garbage bag over her head while her accomplice waited outside in the getaway ride- a wheelchair. Noemi attempted to rob the store with a knife in hand while she demanded the store’s valuables. The store owner pulled out a stun gun and the two began chasing each other in the store until a customer tackled Noemi, held her and waited for the police. The loyal accomplice who waited outside was arrested as well.
4. Banana Heist
Hunger is a cue that the body is in need of food. This physiological state has been known to lead persons to do some bizarre things to fulfill that need. The surveillance video at a gas station in Connecticut showed a man backing up his Ford Freestyle station wagon into the door of the store several times until the glass broke. The unmasked man took a banana from the shelf, peeled the fruit, ate it and left. He made his getaway in his vehicle which was physically damaged.
5. “Give Me A Call”
Ruben Zarate attempted to rob a muffler shop. The armed gunman walked in and demanded money. The workers insisted that their boss wasn’t in and he alone could open the safe. Before Zarate left, he proceeded to give the workers his two contact numbers and explained that he would return when they called him to say their boss was in. Initially, the police did not believe that anyone could be that dumb. When Zarate was called, he returned to the shop and was apprehended by the police.
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