As adorable as the notion is that “love makes the world go ‘round”, most of us don’t have the luxury of believing that to be true. If the best things in life were really free, do you think anybody would actually take on one of these horrendous roles? Here are 5 of the worst jobs you can get – that have a great payout.

1. Proctologist

As the doctors that deal with any issues you encounter in your rectum, colon, and/or anus, Proctologists earn upwards of $400 000 a year, making them some of the highest paid doctors around. It’s not exactly a mystery why; not only do Proctologists have to perform some of the more uncomfortable medical procedures, they have to do so with appropriate grace and humour. Realistically, its much more likely they will be dealing with nervous and embarrassed patients than during an average check-up. Minor surgeries are usually included in their job description as well.

2. Urine Collector

Yep, it’s an actual job – and it pays surprisingly well. Urine collectors can make anywhere from $80 000 to $300 000 a year, by collecting and selling white-tailed deer pee. A surprising market to be sure, but apparently bucks are incredibly attracted to the pheromones present in the urine, creating a huge demand for the substance among the millions of deer hunters active in the United States. The job consists of emptying vats of the urine, filtering it, bottling it, and shipping it out.

3. Mortician

Not only do morticians have to physically work with dead bodies to prepare them for burial or cremation, but they often also act as funeral directors by consulting with the grieving family on proceedings, overseeing the funeral arrangements, and actually retrieving the body from its location (such as a hospital, or a home). They are essentially on call 24-hours a day, and in spite of their hours being sometimes painfully long they must maintain their sense of composure and compassion through it all due to the delicate nature of the industry. Morticians pull in an average of $85 000 a year.

4. Landfill Operator

The purpose of a landfill operator is to safely remove the methane gas that forms at landfills. Methane gas is highly flammable, and the tiniest leak can result in a massive explosion, making this job as dangerous as it is gross. Aside from the peril involved, landfill operators also just basically have to hang out in smelly, dirty, garbage dumps all day and let’s face it, that doesn’t sound fun. However, they do manage to make about $100 000 a year so maybe it’s not the worst trade off.

5. Crime Scene Cleaner

Probably the most horrifying of all horrific jobs, crime scene cleaners have to deal with some really sad, gritty stuff (not to mention messy). They are tasked with the forensic clean up of the remains of body parts, bodily fluids, blood, and other potentially infectious materials. This means they can come in contact with potential diseases, biohazardous materials such as tear gas, and often deal with traumatizing situations, like the aftermath of a suicide or homicide. Depending on the level of clean-up that crime scene cleaners subject themselves to, they can make between $35 000 – $85 000 a year.