For as long as mankind has existed, a great percentage of the human population has been plagued by a single, unifying problem: baldness. For many men, it’s inevitable, especially if it runs in the family. So it’s safe to assume that throughout our history, people have tried all sorts of remedies to slow down or restore their precious locks to their former glory, including using pigeon droppings, yoga positions and even hot sauce. What made them think they would work, we may never know, but here are five examples of insane cures for baldness.

1. Pigeon Droppings

Hippocrates may be the father of modern medicine who urged his fellow physicians to “do no harm” but he accidentally did, in the form of a really stinky treatment for male baldness. In case you want to try it out yourself, the recipe includes: pigeon droppings, horseradish, beetroot, opium and various spices. Hippocrates himself was follicly challenged and spent a lot of time pursuing a cure for baldness. The rim of permanent hair around the back and sides of the head is famously known as the “Hippocratic wreath.”

2. Headstands

The headstand is one of the most popular yoga positions. The reason why it’s a sought-out treatment for hair loss is due to the theory that headstands increase blood flow to the scalp which in turn prevents baldness. If you can’t or won’t do a headstand for one reason or another, then an inversion table is always an option. Using this device, you’ll be able to suspend yourself upside down for however long you want.

3. Hot Sauce

For some people, hot sauce isn’t only a condiment, but a remedy for male hair loss. And there may actually be some scientific evidence to it! According to a 2003 Korean Journal of Dermatology, scientists mentioned that capsaicin, the active ingredient in chili peppers, helped regrow hair on mice at a very fast rate. But would it work on a human head? Sadly, the answer is most likely no since there’s no evidence to support this claim.

4. Animal Fat

Not even the Ancient Egyptians were fans of losing their hair. These people prided themselves on their appearance, which indicated a person’s status, role in society and level of political influence. So, it’s a given that they would be deeply troubled by baldness. There is even a recorded recipe for a hair loss remedy that survived to this day. All you have to do is rub a balm on your head made with the mixed fats of a hippo, crocodile, serpent, ibex, lion and cat.

5. Xervac

For balding men in the 1930s, the Xervac by the Crosley Corporation was a fad that promised to put an end to men whose hair was leaving their scalp. The device was invented by Dr. Andrea Cueti who concluded that hair loss was the result of reduced blood flow to the scalp. So he created the Xervac which was a bicycle-style helmet with a hose attached to a large device on the floor. Once on the patient’s head, the Xervac would alternate between cycles of pressure and suction in order to increase blood flow. It’s safe to assume the device was a total failure, considering that it’s barely talked about today.